A language crisis or something else?

House-visiting at my relatives during Chinese New Year can yield a harvest (i.e. ang paos and goodies) and also timely insights.

I am increasingly frustrated at my inability to communicate effectively with my Mandarin and dialect-speaking relatives (mainly the older folks from my Mum's side). Yes, some of my younger cousins can converse in English but prefer to speak in Mandarin, having been raised in a Chinese-speaking family environment.

It can't be a matter of language or some generational gap too as my cousin nicely pointed out today that my command of Mandarin is fine (which I strongly disagree) while I have no issues conversing with my English-speaking older relatives.

Methinks it is something else.

Having been raised in an upper middle-class family, taught in an almost exclusively all-English environment at home (although I speak to my Mum in a mixture of English and Mandarin) and school (minus the Mandarin classes), and exposed to ideas and principles like any member of the Western-educated intelligentsia (a general labeling that includes university students in Singapore) are, I feel continents apart from some of my folks.

There seems to be a chasm of thinking that divides the English and Chinese-speaking population, one based on family values and different language backgrounds that determine the type of literature one is exposed to, thereby shaping one's view of life and the world.

But the truth is that Mandarin is still the dominant language of the heartlands (which constitutes the majority of Chinese Singaporeans) while English, which is the language of government, business and education, constitutes only a minority of the population.

Having been trained almost exclusively in the latter, I believe I speak for most English-speaking Singaporeans who may feel this sense of alienation from the majority of the Chinese population who speak primarily Mandarin and dialects.

We are always so fixated about divisions along racial, religious and class lines. How about examining the divisions created by the family-language backgrounds that we all hail from?

The truth has been set free

My Mum is truly the epitome of strength and resilience.

For four years, she harboured the truth behind her wanting to separate from my Dad.

As a result, she could not sleep properly, even when she moved out of the family home. Not always a good communicator, she did not share her burden with us but chose to let her actions do the talking: working hard running her own business and silently caring for her children by protecting the family assets for our future.

All the while, the truth cried to be set free but as a woman, she chose to suppress it for the good of the family.

This week, the truth finally surfaced. It came as a shock but we realised how crucial it was to move on. To simply linger in the past and point the blame finger is destructive and pointless. As a family, we have had enough of the quarrels and umpteen family meetings to mediate in disputes between both of them. We had to move to a space where new possibilities can be created.

As the saying goes, to win in life, sometimes one has to lose some. None of us asked for this to happen, but you can't have everything in life. You have to adapt and make the best of the situation.

My parents have decided to officially go their separate ways with no more claims against each other. It is for the better. Now, my Mum is happier and there seems to be this great and invisible burden lifted off everyone's chest.

Now it's time to rebuild the family again with faith, hope and love.

It's great to have your own personal space!

As a student slowly making the transition to a full-time corporate life in my final semester, I have finally understood the importance of having one's own personal space.

When we are young, we always tell ourselves that it's alright to sacrifice this and that for our career, our studies, or professional pursuits. Sometimes, family time and personal space takes a back seat in that quest for the golden gauntlet.

But the chase for the golden gauntlet will never stop, not even when we are much older and will inevitably take up more responsibilities as we move up the corporate ladder. There will always be 101 things worthy of our attention and immediate remedy.

Having one's own personal space to pursue individual hobbies or interests is as crucial as taking care of our own health. Before we can be of value to others, we first have to take care of ourselves.

I have decided to put aside some personal time for myself: church service on Saturday evenings and cycling at ECP on Sunday afternoons, followed by a swim in the sea or frolicking on the beach with a good book under the hot sun. This really gives me the space to unwind and reflect.

Now, I feel so much more cheerful, measured and healthier, yet handling a heavier amount of workload compared to last semester.