I still remember the shock when I received the SMS. It was meant to be a day of elation and good wishes but the SMS brought me back to reality. I initially thought that it was a joke - it has to be - but no one jokes about such things.
With my fingers still trembling on the phone keypad, I passed on the SMS to friends, some of whom are still overseas in the midst of their festive revelry, without a clue of the news to come.
I hated to be the bearer of bad news. I knew some of the many friends Rajan had. He was a popular guy who had friends from Singapore, Malaysia and all around the world. He was a regular face at international and exchange student gatherings. People warmed up to him easily because of his easy nature, ever-ready smile and a heart that had nothing but warmth and humour for those who explored deeper. Among groups of friends, Rajan always had a story to share, a grievance to air, a joke to crack, and an encouragement to make.
And all of a sudden, all of these friends had one less reason to smile about for the new year. Whoever we are, wherever we are, we all felt the loss: the void in our hearts simply cannot be replaced by the jovial end-year celebrations.
I really miss the conversations I had with Rajan. He was the kind of guy that you could bump into at the entrance of the library and strike a conversation that could last for an hour or so. If you needed a meal buddy, Rajan was always in the library to approach.
I remember the meals we had where we talked about anything related to life, philosophy, religion, politics, economics and society. Rajan, being a big critique of Singapore, SMU and our way of life, would go on and on about how we should never settle for less, while I would always defend the status quo and jokingly point out that our Malaysian neighbours never had it better. He would then roll his eyes before partaking a final shot of his trademark sarcasm and diatribe that always never fails to make me laugh.
Despite his controversial views, Rajan always had a heart for the community and society. Apart from being a top debater, he was involved in Campus Crusade for Christ (where we met in 2006) and as a residential senior at the SMU hostel. He was always there to integrate new students into the community, offer advice to home-sick international students, or to share a beer or two with you because you had a bad day.
But what made Rajan stand out from the crowd was what he stood for. He was a staunch Christian, a rebel, a fighter, an idealist and an intellect, always true to himself and his beliefs, and never shirking from an opportunity to debate on many issues. With a formidable understanding of poverty and women's rights, he always voiced out against social inequalities and injustices. He would make a fine example of how civil society and non-profits should be.
Rajan truly taught me how to live life with no regrets, to be true to myself, stand up for my beliefs and never shirk from any challenge that comes my way. In his passing, I will always fondly recall the good times that we had and the memories that we shared.
In this time of adversity, together with all his friends who feel the loss, my heart and prayers goes out to Rajan's family.
With members of the SMU chapter of Campus Crusade for Christ at Metamorphosis Camp in December 2007
At a gathering with friends at the SMU hostel in early 2008. I still remembered how impromptu this gathering was, having received news about it a few hours before it happened
Taken at his apartment at the hostel. That's Rajan with his ever-ready trademark smile that shone of warmth and friendliness. I will really miss it
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